Mark is still fat..........

So I met with my dad while I was in Las Vegas doing the baby failure to produce semen one chance only egg retrieval thing. I wrote him a letter before I came down to the city that never sleeps. I talked about it in an earlier blog entry. It was very hard for me to reach out to him. He never talks about his feelings, and I well talk a lot, or write about them. So I called him and wanted to talk about how I was felling and more importantly what he was thinking. So he called me and left a message and was kind of easy going with his tone of message. So I drove and met him at the Peppermill. He and I have been there when I was 5 and a number of times since then. I thought it would be a good meeting ground. I showed up and we he gave me a hug. I thought this was going to be a breakthrough. We go in and set down. We order and start talking about stuff and he goes into his old routine of talking about the economy, how hard everything is for him. He asks a little bit about the baby process. Then he starts talking about how this is a time when a man changes when he reaches forty, how when he had me he only made 40 bucks a month and how good this was for me, his underlying message this will be a good learning experience for me. This coming from a man who would tell his friends with me standing right there,"I had to fuck his mom to get him". My cat Bruno just came up to cuddle. I just don't know how to reach him and talk to him. I think that I will just continue to write him a letter to see if I can get him to talk. You don't get to choose to be a role model, it chooses you. I have always had other men, like my mother's brother, Mr. Anthony, and Mom's husband Dave for mentors. This has been on my weighing heavily on my mind since I have been back. I talked a little bit about it with my sister today. She was very kind when I described what had happened.
I talked with my only friend Mark today. He is still very fat.